Summary
In this interview, we explore the journey of Richard Tambwe, a PhD student at Duquesne University who has been living in Pittsburgh since 2021. As a theologian and father to an autistic child, he shares his deeply personal insights on the intersection of faith, social justice, and the challenges and beauty of raising a child with ASD, while also reflecting on broader issues of disability awareness and advocacy.
Welcome to Pennsylvania. What brings you to Pittsburgh?
I have been living in Pittsburgh since 2021 (in the midst of Covid-19 pandemic). I am a PhD student at Duquesne University and I am already finishing my program in the Theology Department. Not only does my Christian faith in God encourage me to serve others, but also my area of studies sharpens my social awareness and inspires me to practice my faith by “creating beauty” for social justice. Indeed, there is an intrinsic link between beauty, love, justice, and peace that can be explored ad infinitum.
Why is autism an important topic for you?
Autism is an important topic for me because I am the father to a soon seven-year-old boy who was diagnosed with ASD a few years ago. I am still gradually learning about it and slowly seeing things differently in the line of Rick Guidotti’s “change how you see, and see how you change” (Positive Exposure). For example, when I started seeing my child’s ASD (oftentimes emphasized through the aspect of “disorder”) as a “disability for him,” that is, a limiting condition for him, not a “burden for me or for his mother or the wider society,” I started focusing on him and only him, than on anyone or anything else. This helped me avoid many noises and allowed me to see many other things, including the beauty of the mosaic of life and humanity, in which each one of us has their role to play. As a believer, I am convinced there is a reason why God sent my son with the ASD condition and it is my duty to help him lead a full and happy life, and fulfill all his potential.
You have a vision about hope, learning and resources. Can you share that vision with us?
Here is what I have in mind:
Perception of Disability
The perception of disability, be it physical or mental, is perhaps not the same between the Democratic Republic of the Congo (DRC), the country where I come from, and here in the USA: is there a way to help Congolese refugees arriving here not to feel embarrassed if they have a disability or know of a family member who needs help in this sense? The aim would then be to reassure them and show them that each individual is a gift that adds to the mosaic of the whole human community (every difference deserves to be celebrated, not stifled or annihilated or stigmatized).
Taking Perspective from the Disability Community
As is the case all over the world and perhaps even more so in DRC, where culture sometimes leads people to believe that the origin of any disability is witchcraft or curse, isn’t it important to educate people to approach disability from the point of view of disabled people themselves and for them, rather than from the point of view of society and its general standards? The aim here is to see the people concerned as having a “disability,” not being one themselves, i.e. they suffer from a limiting condition (physical or mental); they are not the ones inflicting suffering on society. They are the ones to be put at the center, considering everything from their point of view (movements, senses, activities, and so forth) and not from society’s great number.
Changing the Narrative
The disabled person is perceived as “different,” not as abnormal or as a stumbling block, a gene, and an embarrassment from the point of view of the majority. They have “difficulties in forming and maintaining social relationships, by impairment of the ability to communicate verbally or nonverbally, and by repetitive behavior patterns and restricted interests and activities” (Merriam-Webster), and not the other way around, where the majority would see them as incapable, lazy, incomplete, lesser, abnormal, etc., as if they were responsible for the limitation they suffer from… They are the ones experiencing “social isolation;” perhaps they are the ones who are disturbed by our inquisitive gaze and not the other way around description as “lack of eye contact.” Educating people with such an awareness is irreplaceable.
Learning from People with Lived Experience
In the case of autism, for example, many parents and relatives are often at a loss, and many of their questions (often unformulated) remain unanswered. Shouldn’t we be a step ahead of them, considering the experience of others who have gone through the same thing, while recognizing that every case is unique, and pointing out resources for certain answers that are already known?
Hope and Encouragement
Wouldn’t there be more impact and positive results if all this were done in a relaxed way, emphasizing aspects of hope rather than despair or fear, joy rather than sadness, possibilities rather than limitations, and so forth? The aim is to reassure the family members of the person living with autism that their child is a person with enormous potential, just like any other child, provided they get an education appropriate to their condition.
Much of what you talk about requires people to change the way they perceive autistic people. Part of that requires empathy and new patterns of thought. What are some ways we can achieve this?
A practical way of doing this could be sharing videos, TikTok posts, art products or production (photos, paintings, music, etc.), Internet links, resources, and so forth, all in an informal, relaxed and pleasant way, while also providing useful information. For example, if I had to recommend the American comedy-drama series “Monk”[1] On Netflix, assuming that the “obsessive-compulsive disorder” of the main character qualifies as ASD, I would have pointed out that Adrian Monk (Tony Shalhoub) is a good example of a successful integration of an individual with disability in the smooth running of a city. But this does not prevent us from grasping the different challenges facing Monk and his entourage throughout the episodes.
Here are just a few examples:
- Monk’s apparent lack of empathy
- his phobia of germs
- his obsession with the idealized image of his late wife Trudy Elliot Monk
Is Monk’s “absence of empathy” or “germ phobia” a problem for him or for the larger society? Isn’t it true that, once Monk is known as such, something else is expected of him (namely, solving homicide’s mysteries with the help of his assistants and colleagues) and not his sympathy or sociability?
Everybody loves Monk’s efficiency, while abhorring his sociability. Nevertheless, whether it is Sharona Fleming (Britty Schram) or Natalie Teeger (Traylor Howard), Adrian Monk’s assistants and fellow cops, they all manage to discover his qualities, understand him and, frankly, love him, all the while keeping him involved in the running of the San Francisco Police Department’s task force dealing with homicides. Besides, Monk’s unconditional love for Trudy (even after she dies) is a model of a lifetime engagement of love.
Inspired by this tragicomic series and the way it is perceived by the audience watching it, and placing Monk at the center, I wonder if it can serve as an example for thinking about policy and advocacy for people living with the disability of autism in the US. It is not a question of charity, which should be left to the religious sphere, but of justice and common sense of give-and-take that govern interactions in a civilized society.
[1] Andy Breckman (Creator), Monk [Comedy Drama Series] (2002-2009), Mandeville Films, Touchstone Television, and Universal Cable Productions.
Autism Connection of Pennsylvania thanks Richard for sharing his vision. A simplified version of the interview is below.
Welcome to Pittsburgh! Why are you here?
I moved to Pittsburgh in 2021 during the COVID-19 pandemic. I’m a PhD student at Duquesne University, studying in the Theology Department. My Christian faith inspires me to help others, and my studies make me more aware of social issues. I believe in showing my faith by creating beauty for social justice. I think there’s a strong connection between beauty, love, justice, and peace that can be explored forever.
Why is autism important to you?
Autism is important to me because I have a son who is almost seven years old, and he was diagnosed with autism a few years ago. I’m still learning about it and trying to see things differently, like how Rick Guidotti says, “Change how you see, and see how you change.” At first, I saw my son’s autism as a “disability for him,” something that made things harder for him, not as a “burden” for me, his mom, or society. Focusing on him helped me see the beauty in life and humanity, where everyone has a role to play. I believe God has a reason for giving my son autism, and it’s my job to help him live a full, happy life.
Can you share your ideas about hope, learning, and resources?
Sure! Here’s what I think:
How We See Disability
People in my home country, the Democratic Republic of the Congo (DRC), might see disabilities differently than people here in the USA. Can we help Congolese refugees who come here not feel ashamed if they have a disability or know someone who does? We should show them that everyone is special and adds to the human community. Every difference should be celebrated, not hidden or looked down on.
Understanding Disability from the Inside
In many places, including the DRC, people sometimes believe that disabilities come from curses or witchcraft. It’s important to teach people to see disabilities from the perspective of those who have them, not from what society expects. We should focus on the fact that they have a disability, but they are not the problem. They should be at the center, and we should see things from their point of view, not society’s.
Changing the Story
People with disabilities are often seen as “different,” not as abnormal or a problem. They might have trouble communicating or forming relationships, but that doesn’t make them less capable. We need to change how we view them and not blame them for their challenges. They are often isolated because of how others see them, not because they are doing something wrong. Educating people to understand this is really important.
Learning from Those Who Live It
When it comes to autism, many parents have lots of questions that don’t always get answered. We should help by learning from others who have gone through similar experiences while remembering that every situation is unique. We can also point out resources that might help.
Spreading Hope and Encouragement
We should focus on hope, joy, and possibilities when talking about disabilities, not fear or sadness. Families need to know that their child with autism has great potential, just like any other child, if they get the right support.
How Can We Help People Understand Autism Better?
One way to do this is by sharing videos, art, and resources in a friendly and informal way. For example, I could recommend the TV show “Monk,” where the main character has OCD. Even though Monk faces challenges, he’s a great detective, and his team learns to appreciate and love him. This show might help people think differently about autism and see that people with disabilities have valuable contributions to make. It’s not about charity; it’s about justice and treating everyone fairly in a civilized society.