Virtual support group meeting for adults diagnosed on the autism spectrum later in life. This meeting is open to people who believe they are autistic, and don’t know where to turn for help.
Join Zoom Meeting
https://us06web.zoom.us/j/82501818222?pwd=SzCKtkUxemC0yvsZUo3CQ8YdFEzHex.1
Meeting ID: 883 2026 0520
Passcode: 986602
Late Diagnosis of Autism Support Group
Time: Jan 15, 2025 6:30 PM Eastern Time (US and Canada)
Every month on the Third Wednesday
Autism Connection of PA hosts the Late Diagnosis of Autism virtual support group the second Wednesday of every month, and topics cover everything from masking to finding out how to get an adult autism evaluation. On December 11th 2024, the group explored Autism and Communication.
The Late Diagnosis of Autism Support Group Meeting was held online with an option to leave cameras off, and/or use the chat feature instead of speaking. The topics people brought up during this meeting included:
Social communication has been a concern for, well, my entire experience interacting with people, before and after I knew I was autistic. Interactions with peers in elementary school were baffling, and I often was at a loss when it came to words and meaning. This differs from understanding written communication, and it primarily settles on literal meaning versus social meaning: the difference between what words literally mean and what people mean when they use words, along with the complexity of reading body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice, not to mention the unspoken rules of social discourse that I can’t help but break because they are situational and ever-changing. There are a lot of things going on and I tend to focus on one thing at a time, like many autistic people do.
Balancing between the complex rules of grammar and the even more complex rules of social interaction is very taxing on the brain. During social exchanges, we “read” expressions, gestures, tone, and try to put everything in context. The challenge is that I tend to focus on one thing at a time, and I miss out on important details.
For example, if someone says, “I didn’t expect to see you here,” I know what the words mean, but I don’t know what the meaning of the sentence is. This is because it can mean a number of different things, and if I don’t catch the facial expression or tone, I circle back through all of the possible interpretations, and then I miss whatever follows in the exchange. This can make me a poor conversationalist because my mind tendrils out into thoughts that can’t be controlled, and are set into motion by words.
When I’m trying to make sense of what a person means, my gut instinct is to rephrase their spoken words aloud to help things make the most sense, which can come off as constantly correcting people, and is usually off-putting. So while I am always striving for best understanding, and I think I am improving the interaction, I may actually be misunderstood in the process.
Person: “He convinced me to vote.”
Me making sense of the statement: “He persuaded you to vote,” seems like correcting, but it’s interpreting.
Some of us have to work hard to decode what people actually mean, which takes a lot of time and energy. It’s like how riding a bike comes naturally to many, but for others, it is a lot of work to think about coordinating: push left foot down, then right foot, keep eyes on the horizon, don’t look down, grip the handle bars but not too hard, don’t let the wheel shake or wobble, keep balance but lean to one side while twisting the handle bars and pedaling at the same time to make a turn. Whew! This is how hard interpreting language can be for autistic people who often do things best, one thing at a time.
Yes. It is just like riding a bicycle.
When I was a child, I had a stutter, and my speech therapist suggested, “Don’t think about what you are trying to say, think about the words you are using.” I have a clear understanding that there is a language of thought and a language of words, and they don’t always gel. If you’ve ever said, “How should I put it?” you may be able to relate. It – the idea that is in the language of thought – has not been formed into words yet. It just hangs there, and you may not find the words to communicate it at all. For me, words, dictionaries, thesauruses, and etymology have become areas of intense focus, and it’s magnificently complicated.
The following may appear to be nit-picking about correctness and grammar. I don’t mean to be prescriptive as a general rule, or imply everyone should use standard written English in conversation. To me, it is more important to consider how words create social meaning, than to dictate how they should be used based on grammatical rules that date back to the 1500s, and honestly seem arbitrary (for example, Sir Thomas Smith’s De Recta et Emendata Linguae Anglicae Scriptione [1568] that bases English grammar on Latin, and yes, it’s written in Latin).
(Dictionaries are either traditionally prescriptive and or descriptive, and they’re at odds. The first descriptive dictionary that I’m aware of is Webster’s Third New International Dictionary of the English Language, Unabridged (1961). My favorite is Bryan Garner’s A Dictionary of Modern American Usage (1998). This type of information is probably why people may navigate away from me at parties – I’m a bit of a word nerd, so I’ll stop here with the dictionary usage wars.)
A social exchange that can interfere with interpreting meaning may go as follows:
Person: “I’m nauseous.”
Me: “You’re not nauseous. I assure you. I feel fine and everyone else seems perfectly okay.”
Why might I, as a literally-minded person, say that? She’s saying she feels sick, and I’m misinterpreting that as her saying she worries she is making others feel sick. I figure that I am doing the person a kindness in assuring her that she is indeed not nauseous since no one appears to be sick in her presence since nauseous literally means “causing nausea or disgust.” Over time, the meaning has changed to “feeling nauseated” in a social context, and in descriptivist dictionary entries.
When it comes to social language – how spoken words are actually used – in this type of exchange, I will most likely be wrong. She may wonder why I would suggest that I know exactly how she feels, and why on earth would I mention that others don’t feel sick?
“Language Nerd Masking © Autism Connection of PA, 2024 is camouflaging knowledge of correct language by trying to blend in by allowing the rules to be bent.” With enough practice, you can even break the rules yourself!
There’s an exhaustive list of words that take up my brain energy and require a lot of effort for me to decode in conversations, because they no longer hold their literal meaning. Two examples:
Impact – is a noun currently used as a verb – maybe because affect doesn’t have as much punch. You wouldn’t say “I was impacted by the car” because it simply doesn’t make sense. Wisdom teeth are impacted. But you would say, “This event impacted my life.” In my mind, I have to rephrase the sentence as “This event made an impact on my life” for it to make sense to me. Also, I have no idea whether the impact was positive or negative. This all takes time for me to process, and if the conversation is moving forward, I miss a beat, or I may get completely lost.
Myriad – is like numerous but it’s now being used as a noun “a myriad of reasons” that strikes me as odd as someone saying “a numerous of reasons” but it’s how people use the word, and usage prevails.
These and myriad other examples impact my social interactions because I have to take extra time to figure out what people mean – and that extra time takes my attention away from other words exchanged while I am sorting this all out. The conversation moves forward, and I’m a step behind and can’t catch up.
Consider the back-and-forth dynamic in conversations, and think about a time when you have asked a “yes or no” question. Did the person simply say “Yes” or “No” leaving something awkward hanging in the air? They may be aware of the awkwardness, but may not be aware of the social rule requiring further information.
When you’re in the presence of an autistic person, remember that the onus is always on them to sort through meaning. Exchanges that come naturally to non-autistic people take a considerable amount of energy for an autistic person to process, interpret, and respond. And it’s exhausting.
The writer David Foster Wallace explores struggling with peer social interactions as a child in Consider the Lobster and Other Essays. He excelled in standard written English, but he was “actually deficient in Language Arts…[had] only one dialect…[could not] alter his vocabulary, usage, or grammar, [could not] use slang or vulgarity; and it’s these abilities that are really required for ‘peer rapport,’ which is just a fancy academic term for being accepted by the second-most-important Group in the little kid’s life.”
Many of us continue to struggle to feel accepted by the “Group,” as adults. Taking all of this into account, revisit the bulleted list from the Late Diagnosis of Autism Support Group meeting. What would you add to the list for yourself?
Virtual support group meeting for adults diagnosed on the autism spectrum later in life. This meeting is open to people who believe they are autistic, and don’t know where to turn for help.
Join Zoom Meeting
https://us06web.zoom.us/j/82501818222?pwd=SzCKtkUxemC0yvsZUo3CQ8YdFEzHex.1
Meeting ID: 825 0181 8222
Passcode: AutismPA
Virtual support group meeting for adults diagnosed on the autism spectrum later in life. This meeting is open to people who believe they are autistic, and don’t know where to turn for help.
Join Zoom Meeting
https://us06web.zoom.us/j/82501818222?pwd=SzCKtkUxemC0yvsZUo3CQ8YdFEzHex.1
Meeting ID: 825 0181 8222
Passcode: AutismPA
Spelled Communication: Insights and Access
Explore methods of communication that utilize letter boards or keyboards to spell intended messages. Local & regional resources will be shared.
Presenter: Michelle Lubetsky, M.Ed., BCBA
Lubetsky Consulting, LLC
Oct 16, 2024
6:30 PM
This is a free workshop. Register on Zoom
I have been living in Pittsburgh since 2021 (in the midst of Covid-19 pandemic). I am a PhD student at Duquesne University and I am already finishing my program in the Theology Department. Not only does my Christian faith in God encourage me to serve others, but also my area of studies sharpens my social awareness and inspires me to practice my faith by “creating beauty” for social justice. Indeed, there is an intrinsic link between beauty, love, justice, and peace that can be explored ad infinitum.
Autism is an important topic for me because I am the father to a soon seven-year-old boy who was diagnosed with ASD a few years ago. I am still gradually learning about it and slowly seeing things differently in the line of Rick Guidotti’s “change how you see, and see how you change” (Positive Exposure). For example, when I started seeing my child’s ASD (oftentimes emphasized through the aspect of “disorder”) as a “disability for him,” that is, a limiting condition for him, not a “burden for me or for his mother or the wider society,” I started focusing on him and only him, than on anyone or anything else. This helped me avoid many noises and allowed me to see many other things, including the beauty of the mosaic of life and humanity, in which each one of us has their role to play. As a believer, I am convinced there is a reason why God sent my son with the ASD condition and it is my duty to help him lead a full and happy life, and fulfill all his potential.
Here is what I have in mind:
The perception of disability, be it physical or mental, is perhaps not the same between the Democratic Republic of the Congo (DRC), the country where I come from, and here in the USA: is there a way to help Congolese refugees arriving here not to feel embarrassed if they have a disability or know of a family member who needs help in this sense? The aim would then be to reassure them and show them that each individual is a gift that adds to the mosaic of the whole human community (every difference deserves to be celebrated, not stifled or annihilated or stigmatized).
As is the case all over the world and perhaps even more so in DRC, where culture sometimes leads people to believe that the origin of any disability is witchcraft or curse, isn’t it important to educate people to approach disability from the point of view of disabled people themselves and for them, rather than from the point of view of society and its general standards? The aim here is to see the people concerned as having a “disability,” not being one themselves, i.e. they suffer from a limiting condition (physical or mental); they are not the ones inflicting suffering on society. They are the ones to be put at the center, considering everything from their point of view (movements, senses, activities, and so forth) and not from society’s great number.
The disabled person is perceived as “different,” not as abnormal or as a stumbling block, a gene, and an embarrassment from the point of view of the majority. They have “difficulties in forming and maintaining social relationships, by impairment of the ability to communicate verbally or nonverbally, and by repetitive behavior patterns and restricted interests and activities” (Merriam-Webster), and not the other way around, where the majority would see them as incapable, lazy, incomplete, lesser, abnormal, etc., as if they were responsible for the limitation they suffer from… They are the ones experiencing “social isolation;” perhaps they are the ones who are disturbed by our inquisitive gaze and not the other way around description as “lack of eye contact.” Educating people with such an awareness is irreplaceable.
In the case of autism, for example, many parents and relatives are often at a loss, and many of their questions (often unformulated) remain unanswered. Shouldn’t we be a step ahead of them, considering the experience of others who have gone through the same thing, while recognizing that every case is unique, and pointing out resources for certain answers that are already known?
Wouldn’t there be more impact and positive results if all this were done in a relaxed way, emphasizing aspects of hope rather than despair or fear, joy rather than sadness, possibilities rather than limitations, and so forth? The aim is to reassure the family members of the person living with autism that their child is a person with enormous potential, just like any other child, provided they get an education appropriate to their condition.
A practical way of doing this could be sharing videos, TikTok posts, art products or production (photos, paintings, music, etc.), Internet links, resources, and so forth, all in an informal, relaxed and pleasant way, while also providing useful information. For example, if I had to recommend the American comedy-drama series “Monk”[1] On Netflix, assuming that the “obsessive-compulsive disorder” of the main character qualifies as ASD, I would have pointed out that Adrian Monk (Tony Shalhoub) is a good example of a successful integration of an individual with disability in the smooth running of a city. But this does not prevent us from grasping the different challenges facing Monk and his entourage throughout the episodes.
Here are just a few examples:
Is Monk’s “absence of empathy” or “germ phobia” a problem for him or for the larger society? Isn’t it true that, once Monk is known as such, something else is expected of him (namely, solving homicide’s mysteries with the help of his assistants and colleagues) and not his sympathy or sociability?
Everybody loves Monk’s efficiency, while abhorring his sociability. Nevertheless, whether it is Sharona Fleming (Britty Schram) or Natalie Teeger (Traylor Howard), Adrian Monk’s assistants and fellow cops, they all manage to discover his qualities, understand him and, frankly, love him, all the while keeping him involved in the running of the San Francisco Police Department’s task force dealing with homicides. Besides, Monk’s unconditional love for Trudy (even after she dies) is a model of a lifetime engagement of love.
Inspired by this tragicomic series and the way it is perceived by the audience watching it, and placing Monk at the center, I wonder if it can serve as an example for thinking about policy and advocacy for people living with the disability of autism in the US. It is not a question of charity, which should be left to the religious sphere, but of justice and common sense of give-and-take that govern interactions in a civilized society.
[1] Andy Breckman (Creator), Monk [Comedy Drama Series] (2002-2009), Mandeville Films, Touchstone Television, and Universal Cable Productions.
Autism Connection of Pennsylvania thanks Richard for sharing his vision. A simplified version of the interview is below.
IGIA Movement for Health is well known in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania for its innovative approach that incorporates various somatic practices like yoga, meditation, Hanna Somatics®, and dance to tap into the power of internal movement, stimulate new neural pathways, and improve the mind’s regulation of posture and emotions.
For the autism community, sensory overload and difficulty with interoception can interfere with the ability to recognize and manage emotions, so Autism Connection of PA was ecstatic to be invited to host IGIA Movement for Health for three pilot movement workshops. Three Rivers Community Care is also hosting a class on August 12th.
Care practitioner and IGIA Co-founder, Gia Cacalano, leads the Master Classes, taking cues from attendees to form her approach. IGIA movement practices can be done both seated and standing, they’re accessible, and no two classes are exactly alike. Co-founder and CEO, Harris Farris quietly participated in the first pilot class along with a small group. One autistic participant shares her experience with the class, and encourages others to attend.
I honestly didn’t know exactly what to expect, which can be a great source of anxiety. It was hot outside, and even though it was only 10:15 in the morning, I was already feeling overwhelmed with sensory overload. At least I think that’s what it was. Sometimes it can be difficult to identify what is going on with me, both physically and emotionally. I also realized that I had lost track of time and was running late.
The room was open and large with soft lighting. The instructor, Gia, was welcoming, the number of people in the class was small, and I had a great sense that I could just be myself. Gia explained that there is no wrong way to do the movements, and described how each movement affects the body.
Video: Harris Ferris demonstrates some simple movements
I recognized some of the movements and I thought, “Hey! These stem from stims!” Self stimulatory behaviors (or self-regulating behaviors) often serve a purpose, and I was perfectly happy to do some hand flapping that transformed into more delicate movements. It turns out that flapping and jumping ignites the lymphatic system, and can improve the immune system.
Visual stims were also weaved into the movements. We worked on eye tracking along with slow, intentional head movements that seemed to broaden my peripheral sight. I was able to take in the entire room visually rather than focusing on specific elements.
“Rocking is a controlled fall,” the instructor said. This statement stuck with me because I usually fight the urge to rock back and forth to calm myself. The slow, intentional rocking movements were among my favorites, and it was especially helpful to know that we were working on balance along with body awareness.
Time passed quickly in the movement class, and even though there was no rigid structure, the instructor came full circle and this helped me recognize that the session was coming to a close soon. We began and ended with foot movements, gradually rocking to a standing position.
I felt grounded and calm after the session, and I continued to notice when my muscles (especially in the shoulders) were getting tight throughout the rest of the day. I can see how practices from the movement class could help me regulate emotions after sensory overload, or when I struggle with interoception (during times when I feel disconnected from what I’m feeling, whether an emotion or hunger, fatigue or thirst).
This was the first of three sessions, and they are off to a great start.
Gia notes that “even simply being present in the room–just observing and breathing–changes the dynamic. Even if someone showed up and just focused on breathing, that would be a complete session.”
If you want to learn more about IGIA for Movement Master Class, please visit IGIA Movement for Health.
To participate in upcoming classes August 10th and 12th register here.