Virtual support group meeting for adults diagnosed on the autism spectrum later in life. This meeting is open to people who believe they are autistic, and don’t know where to turn for help. Meets on the 3rd Wednesday of every month at 6:30pm.
Join the meeting on December 17th at 6:30pm
Until we recognize that autistic people and people with disabilities are valuable, capable human beings, we will continue to lose words that were originally meant simply to describe a demographic. Over time, everyday language gets twisted, misused, and weaponized—turning descriptive terms into insults. When that happens, the people connected to those words become targets too.
This cycle harms more than vocabulary. It harms people.
Many disability-related terms began as neutral descriptions. But because our society has long underestimated, excluded, or stigmatized people with disabilities, those words often slid into the realm of slurs. We see this most clearly with the R-word—once a clinical descriptor, now a widely recognized insult.
The problem isn’t the word itself.
The problem is how our culture has treated the people behind it.
If a group is not respected, their label becomes a punchline.
If a group is devalued, their identity becomes shorthand for “lesser than.”
Autistic people and families tell us that the impact is anything but harmless.
A parent recently shared with us:
“The slur-hurling is making us (autistic people and their families) feel like we’re ‘lesser than’. We’re not seen as deserving of services or help by the general public if we’re seen as a punchline. Or worse, we’re invisible because everyone is trying to make autism look like it’s less severe than what it is. Language does matter.”
This is the lived experience behind the jokes, memes, and “I didn’t mean it that way” excuses.
Slurs do more than sting. They influence whether someone is seen as deserving of support, empathy, or even basic dignity. They shape how teachers respond, how communities include, how neighbors interact, and how policymakers prioritize services.
When people become jokes, they also become invisible.
There’s a growing cultural tendency to soften or minimize the challenges many autistic people face. While positive stories and strengths-based perspectives are important, they cannot erase the need for support, services, and understanding—especially for those with high support needs.
When autism is treated like a quirky personality trait rather than a legitimate disability, families may encounter disbelief, judgment, or outright dismissal.
And when slurs are used casually, it reinforces the idea that autism, intellectual disability, or developmental differences are inherently negative. Or worse, something to mock.
Changing the way we speak is not about being “overly sensitive” or enforcing “political correctness.” It is about recognizing the full humanity of autistic people and people with disabilities.
Words can:
reinforce stigma
block access to support
shape public attitudes
affect policy decisions
influence how people treat one another
Respectful language creates safer and more inclusive spaces. It signals that people with disabilities are real, valued members of our communities, not punchlines, burdens, or stereotypes.
Everyone plays a role in reducing harm and building a more inclusive culture. Here’s where we can start:
1. Retire disability slurs—including the R-word—completely.
Even “as a joke,” they reinforce harmful beliefs.
2. Speak up when you hear others use them.
A simple “That word hurts people. Could we choose something else?” can make a difference.
3. Learn from disabled voices.
Autistic people and their families are telling us what they need. Listening is the first step.
4. Use language that reflects dignity.
People-first or identity-first language is always better than a slur.
5. Model respect in everyday conversation.
Kids, coworkers, and community members learn from what we say.
Autistic people and families deserve to be seen, heard, and valued. When we change our language, we help change our culture—and we make space for understanding instead of mockery, connection instead of stigma.
Language does matter.
And so do the people behind it.
If you or your family need support, Autism Connection of Pennsylvania is here to help.
Virtual support group for people diagnosed with autism in adulthood. This meeting is on Zoom and it’s open to people who believe they are autistic and don’t know where to turn.
This meeting is held on the third Wednesday of each month at 6:30pm.
Join Autism Connection of Pennsylvania for a free virtual, interactive workshop for parents and caregivers of children, teens, and adults with profound autism. This session offers a space to share experiences, ask questions, and access practical information. We’ll talk about day-to-day challenges, long-term planning, and ways to support people who are deeply affected by autism. Whether you’re just beginning your journey or have years of experience, you’re welcome to connect and learn with others who understand.
PRESS RELEASE: THURSDAY, JULY 10, 2025
Monroeville, PA: Autism Connection of Pennsylvania, in concert with the Jefferson Center for Autism and Neurodiversity in Philadelphia, is proud to announce its first-ever Autism Safety Expo; a comprehensive two-day event devoted to promoting safety in the home and the community for people of all ages and stages on the autism spectrum and their families.
Autism Connection of Pennsylvania’s Safety Expo is important because it brings together critical resources that help ensure the well-being of autistic people in nearly every aspect of life, from their homes to schools to public spaces. Many families and self-advocates struggle to navigate complex systems when it comes to legal rights, medical needs, emergency preparedness, and physical and social safety. This Expo offers a rare opportunity to access all of that information in one place, with trusted experts who understand the unique challenges faced by the autism community. By creating a safe, inclusive space for learning and connection, the event empowers individuals and families to proactively build safer, more supportive environments.
Dates & Location
This “one-stop-shop” experience invites families, caregivers, autistic people, professionals, and community members to access vital safety solutions covering:
Autism Connection of Pennsylvania surveyed autistic people, families, and caregivers about their greatest concerns. Safety is the utmost priority for people of all ages living in both rural and urban areas, and with different levels of need. In response, the Autism Connection is organizing this event to connect people with critical resources.
Safety is multidimensional: legal, medical, social, and environmental. By bringing together experts from each domain, the Autism Safety Expo offers resources to autistic people and families to proactively build environments, knowledge, and community systems that support neurodiverse safety.
About Autism Connection of PA
Since 1996, Autism Connection of PA has served as a trusted resource for families and professionals across the state, offering support groups, educational workshops and webinars, advocacy, and information on art, justice, school, and lifelong planning.
About Jefferson Center for Autism and Neurodiversity
A division of Jefferson Health, the Center champions neurodiverse-aware design and clinical practices, highlighted by its sensory-inclusive Honickman Center in Philadelphia’s city center.
Psychologist and author, Dr. Ross Greene, states, “Children do well when they can.” This notion recognizes that when children have their needs met, their behaviors eventually fall into place. This applies to all of us. We do well when we can.
We expect, somehow, for families in crisis to embrace their situations with unconditional positive regard. People are not getting what they need. They are in crisis. We must work together so we can all move forward. A parent took time to answer questions for Autism Connection — which was not an easy task considering the the events of any day can be unpredictable, unmanageable and of colossal magnitude — things that often go without consideration.
Since my son just turned 18, I would have to say any and all adult services are lacking. There is not an appropriate day program for him currently available once he graduates. Social security is one denial after another, even though it is the only means for him to have any of his own money. I am fortunate that I have a pretty solid knowledge base of what to expect, what is available and not available, so I can’t imagine what all of this is like to someone going in who is completely new to this.
It’s important to note that services are lacking for all ages. Most daycares are not equipped for children with behavioral and extra needs. Preschools have waiting lists. Find someone to look after my son for a date night? Forget it. Most social skill programs are full, or not a good fit for the most affected.
Unfortunately, yes. The obvious concern is water safety. Every time I see a news story about a child drowning, I wait to hear that the child had autism. I’ve also seen countless parents ask about any assistance to build a fence. Our kids like to wander, and sometimes have no ability to gauge personal safety. Fences are expensive and having any sort of funding to alleviate the cost would help so many. It is incomprehensible to me that charities deny funding for this most basic safety tool, despite parents with lived experience asking for it over and over.
Because autism is often an “invisible disability”, I still have to hold my son’s hand when we’re out in public and he is 5’8″. He has frequently taken food and drinks from strangers, and other than wearing noise-canceling headphones; nothing outwardly indicates that he has a disability. Fortunately, we have mostly been met with kindness when this happens, but a few times we haven’t. I worry about our safety, as a family, if we encounter someone who doesn’t understand.
The world in general is not sensory friendly. I plan ahead, sometimes doing a dry run, for anything that is new. My husband and I will often drive separately, so if someone has to leave with our son, one can leave while the other stays. It’s actually gotten harder to go out the older he gets. His disabilities are harder to hide, and the only reason we would want to do that is because people are cruel and judgmental. We mostly stick with a handful of “safe” places, and rarely deviate from them.
Our son has epilepsy which frequently co-occurs with autism. This is complicated as he cannot tell us if he feels a seizure coming on (an aura) and cannot tell us how medications are affecting him at all. Also since he is nonspeaking, we need to have eyes on him at all times since we cannot just yell “Hey, Jackson (not his real name) are you okay?” to check on him, and have him answer. He has been hospitalized several times following 911 calls and ambulance rides, which he also cannot communicate during to participate in assessments. Just last month, he was on a ventilator due to a seizure. Many families like ours live with this kind of daily stress, and unexpected terror during episodes. There is not enough research or help to support any of our kids or our families.
There are not a lot of medical professionals experienced with or specializing in care for autistic adults. There are some that you find by word of mouth, if you’re lucky. At this point, I’d say I’ve had the best luck just strong-arming my way into offices we already go to. My tip is to go through the front desk staff. They always know. By asking a lot of questions and being super friendly, I’ve gotten appointments with an oral surgeon for my son’s wisdom teeth, and at my dentist for regular cleanings. I’ve been able to extend his time at his pediatrician’s office as an accommodation. But I also started to talk with my own doctor to see if they would be willing to take on my son as a patient as a backup for when he ages out. There are no “autism ready” doctors that I know of, so I’m making my own network.
It makes me really angry. The super cynical side of me wonders if my son doesn’t matter to society as a whole because he isn’t “contributing”, in the classic sense, that the people in charge find most important – maybe because that is what makes them feel most important – their jobs. Giving people like my son – and there are thousands in PA we do not see because they are isolated at home – what he needs is expensive and takes creativity and caring, and no one is willing to have programs like that.
We have senior centers and adult day programs for elderly people who also have care needs – so this feels very discriminatory. People call day programs “segregated” but nobody will be more segregated than my son when he is stuck at home once school ends.
He definitely gets frustrated, bored, and will sometimes act out. I’m only one person, and I can’t give him the kind of attention, structure, and activities that school can. We have another child who also needs to be cared for and entertained, and my husband works extra time, since I can’t contribute financially to the best of my abilities. So I’m trying to be a one-woman show. I think we all get burned out from that.
The short answer is I don’t. I can’t pick up and leave for a relaxing weekend or girls’ night out. There are places that offer respite for parents, but don’t provide childcare, so how are we supposed to take advantage of that? On school days, I do get a little bit of time to myself, so when I’m not cleaning, doing housework, or working (I work from home part time), I work out in our garage gym. My husband built it during the pandemic, and it is my one sanctuary.
I’ve been on several day program tours with other families from school, and we’re all in the same boat. We all feel that none are appropriate for what our kids need. There are a lot of parents of kids transitioning to adulthood that just feel lost.
I am also a member of online parent groups and have been over the past 16 years. There is a tremendous amount of unmet needs there, just like we have at my house. Who is going to listen to people who can’t influence politics (no money or power), who can’t donate to a big charity and have strings pulled, and who have shrinking social networks due to staying home to keep people safe? We are a large but powerless population.
It’s exhausting when someone who doesn’t know you, your family, or your situation says that every decision you make is wrong. Whether it’s about what therapies you choose to use, school to attend, wording to describe your loved one’s diagnosis, we can’t seem to make the right decision. At the end of the day, my husband and I are trying to raise our son to be as healthy as possible, while keeping him safe. It’s increasingly difficult to do that when those who don’t know our situation, or want to acknowledge how severe of a disability autism can be, are making decisions for us.
I’d like to encourage caregivers, family friends, anyone who loves a family with profound autism, to contact their local government representatives. If you can, take your person with autism with you. They need to see what we are dealing with. They need to know that the solution is not one size fits all. We are struggling. We need more support. We need more funding. We need others to stand with us and help us.
The autism community — the entire autism community — is in crisis. This is not about levels, it’s about human beings who need help. We are beyond awareness and acceptance. We are beyond words. It’s time for action.
You can help by contacting your Pennsylvania legislator to support the Proposed PA Budget Increase for Intellectual Disability and Autism (ID/A) Services System. Compose your message here.
We recognize that much more needs to be done, that there are gaping holes in services and programs in all ages and stages in the autism community and that people are in great need. This is one step people can take in Pennsylvania.
This month, we celebrate Black History. It is a time to remember the innovation and accomplishments of trailblazers in the United States. A lot of people are inquiring about why Black History Month is important. Here are some reasons from my point of view.
Black History Month is canonical to American History. By studying Black History, we can obtain knowledge that can prevent us from repeating deleterious events. Together we can break barriers.
Joseph Smith
Autism Connection of PA Trustee; Giant Eagle employee, and Professional Photographer