Autism Relationships – Autism Connection of Pennsylvania

two heads with word bubbles. One word bubble says meaning and the other says words

Autistic Language Processing: What Words Mean Versus What People Mean

Autism Connection of PA hosts the Late Diagnosis of Autism virtual support group the second Wednesday of every month, and topics cover everything from masking to finding out how to get an adult autism evaluation. On December 11th 2024, the group explored Autism and Communication.

The Late Diagnosis of Autism Support Group Meeting was held online with an option to leave cameras off, and/or use the chat feature instead of speaking. The topics people brought up during this meeting included:

Communication difficulties
Difficulties with small talk
Offending people inadvertently
Positive aspects of communication differences
Ask questions to cope when they feel overwhelmed
To end conversation “thank” them
Sent boundaries by setting time limit
Texting communication differences lack of body language
Using AI to help with tone in emails
To help with conversation exhaustion, run to the bathroom and have concealed fidget items

Social communication has been a concern for, well, my entire experience interacting with people, before and after I knew I was autistic. Interactions with peers in elementary school were baffling, and I often was at a loss when it came to words and meaning. This differs from understanding written communication, and it primarily settles on literal meaning versus social meaning: the difference between what words literally mean and what people mean when they use words, along with the complexity of reading body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice, not to mention the unspoken rules of social discourse that I can’t help but break because they are situational and ever-changing. There are a lot of things going on and I tend to focus on one thing at a time, like many autistic people do.

Balancing between the complex rules of grammar and the even more complex rules of social interaction is very taxing on the brain. During social exchanges, we “read” expressions, gestures, tone, and try to put everything in context. The challenge is that I tend to focus on one thing at a time, and I miss out on important details.

For example, if someone says, “I didn’t expect to see you here,” I know what the words mean, but I don’t know what the meaning of the sentence is. This is because it can mean a number of different things, and if I don’t catch the facial expression or tone, I circle back through all of the possible interpretations, and then I miss whatever follows in the exchange. This can make me a poor conversationalist because my mind tendrils out into thoughts that can’t be controlled, and are set into motion by words.

When I’m trying to make sense of what a person means, my gut instinct is to rephrase their spoken words aloud to help things make the most sense, which can come off as constantly correcting people, and is usually off-putting. So while I am always striving for best understanding, and I think I am improving the interaction, I may actually be misunderstood in the process.

Person: “He convinced me to vote.”

Me making sense of the statement: “He persuaded you to vote,” seems like correcting, but it’s interpreting.

Decoding: It’s Just Like Riding a Bicycle

Some of us have to work hard to decode what people actually mean, which takes a lot of time and energy. It’s like how riding a bike comes naturally to many, but for others, it is a lot of work to think about coordinating: push left foot down, then right foot, keep eyes on the horizon, don’t look down, grip the handle bars but not too hard, don’t let the wheel shake or wobble, keep balance but lean to one side while twisting the handle bars and pedaling at the same time to make a turn. Whew! This is how hard interpreting language can be for autistic people who often do things best, one thing at a time.

Yes. It is just like riding a bicycle.

When I was a child, I had a stutter, and my speech therapist suggested, “Don’t think about what you are trying to say, think about the words you are using.” I have a clear understanding that there is a language of thought and a language of words, and they don’t always gel. If you’ve ever said, “How should I put it?” you may be able to relate. It – the idea that is in the language of thought – has not been formed into words yet. It just hangs there, and you may not find the words to communicate it at all. For me, words, dictionaries, thesauruses, and etymology have become areas of intense focus, and it’s magnificently complicated.

The following may appear to be nit-picking about correctness and grammar. I don’t mean to be prescriptive as a general rule, or imply everyone should use standard written English in conversation. To me, it is more important to consider how words create social meaning, than to dictate how they should be used based on grammatical rules that date back to the 1500s, and honestly seem arbitrary (for example, Sir Thomas Smith’s De Recta et Emendata Linguae Anglicae Scriptione [1568] that bases English grammar on Latin, and yes, it’s written in Latin).

(Dictionaries are either traditionally prescriptive and or descriptive, and they’re at odds. The first descriptive dictionary that I’m aware of is Webster’s Third New International Dictionary of the English Language, Unabridged (1961). My favorite is Bryan Garner’s A Dictionary of Modern American Usage (1998). This type of information is probably why people may navigate away from me at parties – I’m a bit of a word nerd, so I’ll stop here with the dictionary usage wars.)

Literal Meaning and Social Meaning Confusion

A social exchange that can interfere with interpreting meaning may go as follows:

Person: “I’m nauseous.”

Me: “You’re not nauseous. I assure you. I feel fine and everyone else seems perfectly okay.”

Why might I, as a literally-minded person, say that? She’s saying she feels sick, and I’m misinterpreting that as her saying she worries she is making others feel sick. I figure that I am doing the person a kindness in assuring her that she is indeed not nauseous since no one appears to be sick in her presence since nauseous literally means “causing nausea or disgust.” Over time, the meaning has changed to “feeling nauseated” in a social context, and in descriptivist dictionary entries.

When it comes to social language – how spoken words are actually used – in this type of exchange, I will most likely be wrong. She may wonder why I would suggest that I know exactly how she feels, and why on earth would I mention that others don’t feel sick?

“Language Nerd Masking © Autism Connection of PA, 2024 is camouflaging knowledge of correct language by trying to blend in by allowing the rules to be bent.” With enough practice, you can even break the rules yourself!

There’s an exhaustive list of words that take up my brain energy and require a lot of effort for me to decode in conversations, because they no longer hold their literal meaning. Two examples:

Impact – is a noun currently used as a verb – maybe because affect doesn’t have as much punch. You wouldn’t say “I was impacted by the car” because it simply doesn’t make sense. Wisdom teeth are impacted. But you would say, “This event impacted my life.” In my mind, I have to rephrase the sentence as “This event made an impact on my life” for it to make sense to me. Also, I have no idea whether the impact was positive or negative. This all takes time for me to process, and if the conversation is moving forward, I miss a beat, or I may get completely lost.

Myriad – is like numerous but it’s now being used as a noun “a myriad of reasons” that strikes me as odd as someone saying “a numerous of reasons” but it’s how people use the word, and usage prevails.

These and myriad other examples impact my social interactions because I have to take extra time to figure out what people mean – and that extra time takes my attention away from other words exchanged while I am sorting this all out. The conversation moves forward, and I’m a step behind and can’t catch up.

Words Drive Meaning, Meaning Drives Relationships

Consider the back-and-forth dynamic in conversations, and think about a time when you have asked a “yes or no” question. Did the person simply say “Yes” or “No” leaving something awkward hanging in the air? They may be aware of the awkwardness, but may not be aware of the social rule requiring further information.

When you’re in the presence of an autistic person, remember that the onus is always on them to sort through meaning. Exchanges that come naturally to non-autistic people take a considerable amount of energy for an autistic person to process, interpret, and respond. And it’s exhausting.

The writer David Foster Wallace explores struggling with peer social interactions as a child in Consider the Lobster and Other Essays. He excelled in standard written English, but he was “actually deficient in Language Arts…[had] only one dialect…[could not] alter his vocabulary, usage, or grammar, [could not] use slang or vulgarity; and it’s these abilities that are really required for ‘peer rapport,’ which is just a fancy academic term for being accepted by the second-most-important Group in the little kid’s life.”

Many of us continue to struggle to feel accepted by the “Group,” as adults. Taking all of this into account, revisit the bulleted list from the Late Diagnosis of Autism Support Group meeting. What would you add to the list for yourself?

Richard Tambwe Shares His Vision of Hope and Autism

Welcome to Pennsylvania. What brings you to Pittsburgh?

I have been living in Pittsburgh since 2021 (in the midst of Covid-19 pandemic). I am a PhD student at Duquesne University and I am already finishing my program in the Theology Department. Not only does my Christian faith in God encourage me to serve others, but also my area of studies sharpens my social awareness and inspires me to practice my faith by “creating beauty” for social justice. Indeed, there is an intrinsic link between beauty, love, justice, and peace that can be explored ad infinitum.

Why is autism an important topic for you?

Autism is an important topic for me because I am the father to a soon seven-year-old boy who was diagnosed with ASD a few years ago. I am still gradually learning about it and slowly seeing things differently in the line of Rick Guidotti’s “change how you see, and see how you change” (Positive Exposure). For example, when I started seeing my child’s ASD (oftentimes emphasized through the aspect of “disorder”) as a “disability for him,” that is, a limiting condition for him, not a “burden for me or for his mother or the wider society,” I started focusing on him and only him, than on anyone or anything else. This helped me avoid many noises and allowed me to see many other things, including the beauty of the mosaic of life and humanity, in which each one of us has their role to play. As a believer, I am convinced there is a reason why God sent my son with the ASD condition and it is my duty to help him lead a full and happy life, and fulfill all his potential.

You have a vision about hope, learning and resources. Can you share that vision with us?

Here is what I have in mind:

Perception of Disability

The perception of disability, be it physical or mental, is perhaps not the same between the Democratic Republic of the Congo (DRC), the country where I come from, and here in the USA: is there a way to help Congolese refugees arriving here not to feel embarrassed if they have a disability or know of a family member who needs help in this sense? The aim would then be to reassure them and show them that each individual is a gift that adds to the mosaic of the whole human community (every difference deserves to be celebrated, not stifled or annihilated or stigmatized).

Taking Perspective from the Disability Community

As is the case all over the world and perhaps even more so in DRC, where culture sometimes leads people to believe that the origin of any disability is witchcraft or curse, isn’t it important to educate people to approach disability from the point of view of disabled people themselves and for them, rather than from the point of view of society and its general standards? The aim here is to see the people concerned as having a “disability,” not being one themselves, i.e. they suffer from a limiting condition (physical or mental); they are not the ones inflicting suffering on society. They are the ones to be put at the center, considering everything from their point of view (movements, senses, activities, and so forth) and not from society’s great number.

Changing the Narrative

The disabled person is perceived as “different,” not as abnormal or as a stumbling block, a gene, and an embarrassment from the point of view of the majority. They have “difficulties in forming and maintaining social relationships, by impairment of the ability to communicate verbally or nonverbally, and by repetitive behavior patterns and restricted interests and activities” (Merriam-Webster), and not the other way around, where the majority would see them as incapable, lazy, incomplete, lesser, abnormal, etc., as if they were responsible for the limitation they suffer from… They are the ones experiencing “social isolation;” perhaps they are the ones who are disturbed by our inquisitive gaze and not the other way around description as “lack of eye contact.” Educating people with such an awareness is irreplaceable.

Learning from People with Lived Experience

In the case of autism, for example, many parents and relatives are often at a loss, and many of their questions (often unformulated) remain unanswered. Shouldn’t we be a step ahead of them, considering the experience of others who have gone through the same thing, while recognizing that every case is unique, and pointing out resources for certain answers that are already known?

Hope and Encouragement

Wouldn’t there be more impact and positive results if all this were done in a relaxed way, emphasizing aspects of hope rather than despair or fear, joy rather than sadness, possibilities rather than limitations, and so forth? The aim is to reassure the family members of the person living with autism that their child is a person with enormous potential, just like any other child, provided they get an education appropriate to their condition.

Much of what you talk about requires people to change the way they perceive autistic people. Part of that requires empathy and new patterns of thought. What are some ways we can achieve this?

A practical way of doing this could be sharing videos, TikTok posts, art products or production (photos, paintings, music, etc.), Internet links, resources, and so forth, all in an informal, relaxed and pleasant way, while also providing useful information. For example, if I had to recommend the American comedy-drama series “Monk”[1] On Netflix, assuming that the “obsessive-compulsive disorder” of the main character qualifies as ASD, I would have pointed out that Adrian Monk (Tony Shalhoub) is a good example of a successful integration of an individual with disability in the smooth running of a city. But this does not prevent us from grasping the different challenges facing Monk and his entourage throughout the episodes.

Here are just a few examples:

Monk’s apparent lack of empathy
his phobia of germs
his obsession with the idealized image of his late wife Trudy Elliot Monk

Is Monk’s “absence of empathy” or “germ phobia” a problem for him or for the larger society? Isn’t it true that, once Monk is known as such, something else is expected of him (namely, solving homicide’s mysteries with the help of his assistants and colleagues) and not his sympathy or sociability?

Everybody loves Monk’s efficiency, while abhorring his sociability. Nevertheless, whether it is Sharona Fleming (Britty Schram) or Natalie Teeger (Traylor Howard), Adrian Monk’s assistants and fellow cops, they all manage to discover his qualities, understand him and, frankly, love him, all the while keeping him involved in the running of the San Francisco Police Department’s task force dealing with homicides. Besides, Monk’s unconditional love for Trudy (even after she dies) is a model of a lifetime engagement of love.

Inspired by this tragicomic series and the way it is perceived by the audience watching it, and placing Monk at the center, I wonder if it can serve as an example for thinking about policy and advocacy for people living with the disability of autism in the US. It is not a question of charity, which should be left to the religious sphere, but of justice and common sense of give-and-take that govern interactions in a civilized society.

[1] Andy Breckman (Creator), Monk [Comedy Drama Series] (2002-2009), Mandeville Films, Touchstone Television, and Universal Cable Productions.

Autism Connection of Pennsylvania thanks Richard for sharing his vision. A simplified version of the interview is below.

Astrid Arroyo smiling with brown eyes and dark hair

Families Share: The Things that Keep Us Home and The Things that Bring Us Out

Sensory-friendly, inclusive events have become increasingly popular, and in an effort to ensure that all – and we mean all – families feel safe and welcome, we reached out to Astrid Arroyo who often attends events with her son to find out what works for her family. We also spoke with people who choose to stay home to find out why.

The Things that Keep Families Home

Families who have children with complex needs often reach out to Autism Connection looking for resources and support. We noticed that many shy away from large scale sensory friendly events, so we started asking why. One parent shared sensory friendly events aren’t for her teenage son. “They may be inclusive once you’re inside, but really, we just can’t do it. Many people don’t understand the risk going into a busy city really is. Safety is a concern we have to take very seriously.”

Other families share similar barriers:

Transportation and parking – high stress levels in getting to venues. Parking alone can be overwhelming
Safety and accessibility – not only do we need to gain access to the venue, we have to make sure there’s a “place” for us. Families that have loved ones who bolt or run quickly have additional concerns.
Perceived judgement on our loved one’s behavior. Hosts need to be crystal clear that vocalization and movement are welcome and not considered disruptive.
Venues are too big – can we find welcoming venues on a smaller, quieter scale?
Inconvenient times – Great. There’s a sensory friendly hour at 9:00am on a Wednesday morning during school and work hours. Thanks.
Cost – many sensory friendly events are not affordable.

We have to ensure that venues are safe, that staff and volunteers are well trained, accepting and prepared, and that all behaviors are truly welcomed. Smaller, shorter activities may be more appropriate for some families, and not everyone is equipped for long outings. Also, hosts may consider that it can take hours for some families to prepare to leave the house, so scheduling an event in the morning simply won’t work them.

Astrid Shares: The Things that Bring Families Out

When you see Astrid Arroyo, you’re likely to see her son, Kai, active, in the community, and included. We asked her what works for her family.

“For me, the accessibility of the venue and parking are always the main concern. This is the reason I tend to attend events that are outdoors, or in a venue that has outdoor space, and their own parking, or close accessible parking spaces.

We make it work because Kai drives us to it. Kai doesn’t like to stay home at all. He likes to be out surrounded by people, specifically people that are not us. So, I look for as many events as I can that I know he will enjoy, and that I am able to leave him with a staff, or his brother. Sometimes we choose an event big enough that we can watch him from afar.”

Astrid on the Importance of Raising Awareness About Sensory Friendly Events

“Events are not fully communicated to all families that can benefit from them. Not everyone is on social media. Not everyone has the time to go through Facebook or Instagram trying to find events, only to find out the time has passed. Families are overwhelmed 24/7 with the caring of their child, family obligations, doctor appointments, schooling, therapies, work etc. So even with families having access to these events, they forget about them quickly. This is the reason I started my Parent Group to repeatedly post social events that Kai likes, but I fear may go away due to low attendance.

But I wish, honestly, that supports coordinators were made aware of social events and that they would help families with planning to attend them. This applies to adults with aging parents who may not have the energy and patience to take their loved ones to these events.

I would like to find some sort of solution for parents to know what is out there, because events are out there. And people who are willing to host events for our loved ones are out there as well. We just need to figure out what is really needed, how can we make things more accessible to all families, and how can we create more events that are all inclusive.”

Autism Connection thanks Astrid for her insight and for her passion in helping people enjoy life to the fullest. In response, we have created a survey to further identify barriers and to determine what we all can do to help. Whether you’re a parent, friend, autistic adult, professional or other caring person, please take a moment to share your ideas by completing our Sensory Friendly Events Survey or email [email protected].

Empowering Connections: Sophie’s Potluck, A Special Journey

In this uplifting interview with Amy Hart, the driving force behind Sophie’s Potluck, we delve into the story of Sophie, a vibrant 14-year-old on the autism spectrum. Amy shares the inspiration behind starting Sophie’s Potluck and the unique experiences they offer to the community. From the adorable blue peacock logo to the diverse array of activities, this initiative aims to create a supportive and inclusive space for families. Discover how Sophie’s Potluck is fostering connections and providing opportunities for growth.

Tell us a little about Sophie.

My daughter Sophie is 14 years old and an 8th grader in the Pittsburgh Area. Sophie is on the autism spectrum and and can’t always communicate her needs.

Sophie’s signature bow

What drove you to start Sophie’s Potluck?

During the winter, I was looking for new activities that I could do with our friends. We typically paint monthly at Splat: A Make and Take Art Studio in the Pittsburgh Area, Pennsylvania. Everyone really enjoys themselves each time and my friend, John Novogurski, (who created and runs the Sophie’s Potluck webpage) and I thought it would be fun to do something more frequently. So we came up with the idea to run the website so we can notify people of our events, and let people register online.

Getting creative

I am always looking for new opportunities for Sophie to try and then ask friends to join us. Then I started thinking of ways that we could really start to explore some venues that we wouldn’t typically think of going to. With a little brainstorming and lots of support, I began emailing different places all over the city. We hope to grow from here.

Sophie’s Potluck logo designed by April Watt Little and Cheri Foote

Your logo is an adorable blue peacock cuddled next to a cooking pot. What’s the story behind this image?

I always have a bow in Sophie’s hair to keep track of her, and she loves peacocks. It started as a little inside joke, but John came up with the name because when you host a potluck, everyone brings something to eat. So with Sophie’s Potluck, we wanted everyone to bring their best! My friends April Watt Little and Cheri Foote collaboratively took the name and created the logo for us.

What kind of activities do you offer?

We work with all kinds of venues to bring a wide array of experiences to our special needs friends. Our first “official” event was a 45 minute zoo encounter, where the educators there taught us about arctic animals, and brought a few animals (some arctic, some not) out for us to see. It was a wonderful experience for our friends! Our upcoming events include a trip to a farm, we’re building our own terrariums, and creating our own bath bombs! Many other events are in the works.

Sophie’s Potluck Zoo Encounter

Are there opportunities to volunteer?

Yes! With some events, we are limited to the number of people that are able to participate. However, when we have the space, we LOVE to have volunteers come and join us.

Are there opportunities to host events?

Absolutely!! We are open to try anything! You can contact John or me on the Sophie’s Potluck website.

Any ideas or advice for parents and caregivers with autistic loved ones?

I think that we as parents and care givers are a village that need to learn from each other. I have also found that we just need to ask and many people are interested in helping us, as a group, gain new experiences and learn about the world around them.

Sophie’s Potluck not only serves as a platform for unique and enjoyable experiences, it also stands as a testament to the strength of community and collaboration. Amy’s journey is fueled by a desire to explore new possibilities for her daughter and others. As the initiative continues to grow, offering a range of activities and welcoming volunteers and event hosts, it becomes a shining example of the power of collective support. For parents and caregivers on the autism spectrum, Sophie’s Potluck offers not just events but a village of shared experiences, proving that together, we can enrich the lives of our loved ones and learn from one another.

Kate looking over her shoulder holding a vase of flowers and smiling

Pittsburgh Marathon Runner Profile: Kate Alsaihati

As Kate prepares to bid farewell to her twenties, she is embracing a new challenge that goes beyond personal achievement. The 2024 Dick’s Sporting Goods Pittsburgh Marathon run is a testament to her resilience, determination, and the belief that we can overcome any obstacle. Her motivation is deeply rooted in her desire to be a strong and healthy mom for her two children, demonstrating that we can conquer challenges and do hard things.

Get to know Kate through her interview here:

Tell us a little about Nanny Kate.

When I was 18, I moved in with my cousin who had just had a baby. I was going into my first year of cosmetology school, and in exchange for room and board, I nannied for her and created such a special bond with her son who was two months old when I moved in, and a little over a year old when I graduated. I was lovingly referred to as “Nanny Kate” during my time there. A few years later, he and his younger brother were both diagnosed with autism.

Ten years later, I am still Nanny Kate. They are both such wonderful boys and I couldn’t think of a better organization to run for than Autism Connection of PA.

You have a milestone birthday coming up! What makes this marathon extra special?

This August I will be turning 30! I’ve never been a runner but a group of my friends convinced me to give it a shot and I thought, what better way to say good bye to my twenties than a half marathon?

I have two kids at home and I want to show them that you can do hard things! My kids deserve a mom that is able to run around with them and be healthy enough to do so! That is my motivation for this whole thing.

Any tips for runners?

I’m not sure if I’m in any position to give running tips because I’m still a beginner myself, but if I could give other people wanting to run something like this, any tips it would be to just keep pushing and keep going. It’s gonna be really hard and you will want to quit but don’t…. Keep going and keep running!

As Kate laces up her running shoes and ventures into uncharted territory, Autism Connection of PA invites you to be a part of her journey. Your encouragement, donations, and shared belief in the power of community can make a profound impact.

Visit Kate’s Race Roster page to show your support!

Miss B smiling into the camera wearing long dark hair and glasses

Pittsburgh Marathon Runner Profile: Nina Barbero

Welcome to our first Pittsburgh Marathon runner profile featuring Nina Barbero, or “Miss B” as her health and physical education students know her. Nina agreed to an interview all the way from snowy Rochester, NY where she trains regularly and is a member of Rochester Area Triathletes (RATS), her hometown’s triathlon club.

Get to know Nina through her interview here:

Hey, thank you for deciding to run for Autism Connection of PA! Tell us about your experience supporting people with disabilities in your community.

I have been supporting people with disabilities for as long as I can remember now. In high school I helped my mom with a family friend Meg, who suffered a traumatic brain injury and is dependent on others for care which we provided on a regular schedule. Once my mom got me into racing I was able to run a 5k with Meg where we pushed her in a stroller.

Once entering the multi-sport community, I met the Peck family and Onni. Onni has a progressive muscular disease but her family doesn’t let that hold her back. She races triathlons with her dad who swims with her in a boat then attaches a stroller to his bike to ride with her in tow and then pushes her on the run in the stroller. I am always there cheering her on at all the races where we are both competing.

Most recently, I was able to get one of my former elementary students who uses a wheelchair, to participate in a splash and dash event by my triathlon club. I knew she could do it and she did! In my current position I support our adapted PE classes where we recently started our own event “Northwood Olympics” for our students in APE classes to compete in track and field events.

Tell us about your own fitness journey. What drives you? What have other people done to support you that has been most beneficial? And what do you do to motivate others in the tri or run community?

My own personal journey is all about having fun and enjoying the races I compete in. I also love the community and friends that I have gained through my experiences in running and triathlons. My biggest support is my mom. We frequently train, travel and compete in almost every race we do together. I could not do these events without her! I hope I’m still moving like her when I am her age. The next biggest support is my tri club. RATS has been a driving force in keeping me involved in the sport, every workout we do and event we host shows what an amazing community of people we have. No matter the pace or experience a person has, everyone is welcome and that is something I love about being around the club members!

As for how I motivate others in the community, I just continue to work and push myself to compete in events. When I am racing I’m cheering people on as they pass me or I pass them. If I’m not racing I am volunteering at events or just showing up with my camera to get action shots of those I know and sharing the photos on our Facebook group.

What was your first full marathon experience, which was here in Pittsburgh, like for you? I heard you cried throughout the race, but not for the reasons people might expect. Can you tell us about that?

It was an incredible experience! It’s a hilly course that is similar to my hometown so I was ready for that! I did find myself in tears for the last few miles of the race. It was a big deal for me to be able to complete the race. I wasn’t even sure I would be able to as I was going. Every time someone would cheer me on or give me a compliment I would just burst out into tears, not because my feet hurt (they did), but because of how overwhelmed I was by the support and kindness of others!

I know you are related to someone at the Autism Connection of PA – did anyone in your family twist your arm to run on May 4, 2024? What else are you excited for about that day – what are your after-race plans?

No one ever has to twist my arm to sign up for an event like this! I was telling my aunt and cousin that I was planning to come to Pittsburgh May 4th for the Pirates game. I am a big fan of the Pirates (Let’s go Buccs!) and a big Star Wars fan too! So when I saw it was Star Wars night I had to plan a trip for the give away! When I mentioned this my cousin told me it was marathon weekend so I figured why not sign up! So I will be doing the 5k Saturday and the half marathon Sunday! Calling it a training weekend for my second half Ironman I will be doing in July. After the race I’ll hop back in the car and head home so I can be ready to teach my littles bright and early Monday morning!

Nina Barbero, or “Miss B,” has shared an inspiring journey of dedication and support for people with disabilities, emphasizing the power of inclusivity in the running and triathlon community. As she gears up for the Pittsburgh Marathon on May 4, 2024, running for Autism Connection of PA, we invite you to join her cause.

You can support Nina by clicking her Marathon Race Roster page.

Or, if you feel the call to action, why not lace up your running shoes and participate in the Pittsburgh marathon for a cause close to your heart? Nina’s story exemplifies the transformative effect of running for a purpose, and your involvement can make a difference.

Whether through donations or by taking on the challenge of a marathon, let’s rally together and make strides towards a more inclusive and supportive community. Thank you for considering and being part of this incredible journey.

fries and chicken nuggets with sauces on side

Four Quick Tips for Picky Eaters

People have all kinds of reasons for food aversions or avoidance. Sensory (like experiencing strong or “weird” tastes, loud noises that crunchy foods make when chewed, uncomfortable pressure on teeth and jaws when chewing), motor (slippery or soft foods may hard for a person to control in their mouth without accidentally gagging) or negative memories like choking or being at a sad event when eating a food, all may affect one’s “food future”.

Some people may also have obsessive compulsive disorders that dictate how, when, and how much they eat, or hidden mental and emotional rules dictating things like if foods are “allowed” to touch each other, be eaten “out of order” or that one must avoid eating an odd number of things (like grapes) vs. an even number. Best wishes to the family chef – or to you yourself – if food variety is limited by disabling conditions. But fear not, here are some ways which may help anyone eat a wider variety of foods.

1. Put favorite foods with all the food you are offering

Picky eaters may gravitate to certain foods, and this can lead to making special dishes just for them. Try putting their favorite foods as part of a selection of a variety of foods. Putting everything in the middle of the table creates a sense of similarity rather than sending the message, “Your food is different from our food”.

Real family experience: Michael’s daughter, a picky eater, always stuck to her favorite chicken nuggets. By placing them alongside a variety of dishes, he noticed she became more open to trying new things, feeling like her choices were part of the family feast.

2. Add flavor little by little

Choose a preferred food and add a tiny bit of flavor in the mix. For example, a person who loves plain pasta with no sauce might enjoy having the option to dip the pasta, or simply add a very small, almost undetectable amount of sauce into the pasta to give it a subtle hint of flavor. If the hint of flavor is tolerated, gradually add more over time.

Real family experience: Eva, who preferred plain pasta, discovered a love for subtle flavors when her mom introduced a small amount of sauce. Gradually, she started experimenting with different sauces, turning mealtime into a flavorful adventure.

3. Deconstruct complicate dishes

Serving a dish that has multiple ingredients can look and taste overwhelming. Try offering ingredients that they can choose and assemble as they like. For example, taco night might feature tortillas alone with a separate bowl of each filling. People could eat each item separately, or combined as they choose.

Real family experience: The Smith family found that deconstructing lasagna into separate components allowed their son, with sensory sensitivities, to enjoy the meal. He happily assembled his plate with the ingredients he liked, turning a potentially overwhelming dish into a customizable delight.

4. Add variety to familiar foods

Try favorite flavors or textures in different foods, and note how they are similar. “These are raisins. They’re soft, sweet and chewy just like the gummy candies you like.” Or “You love Goldfish crackers. Here are cheesy square crackers that can go with them.” You also might try using a favorite dip as a way to try new food “dippers”. Begin with their favorite food and dip, say carrots and ranch dressing, then add a new food, like one piece of celery, to allow a little more exploration.

Real family experience: Mark’s son, a fan of Goldfish crackers, was introduced to new flavors by pairing them with different-shaped cheesy crackers. The explanation, “These are like the ones you love,” made trying new snacks feel like a natural extension of their preferences.

By experimenting with these family-friendly tips, you can turn the dinner table into a joyous experience for everyone. Remember to include favorite foods alongside a variety of options, creating a sense of togetherness rather than emphasizing differences. Gradually introduce flavors to cater to individual preferences and consider deconstructing complex dishes for a more manageable experience. Adding variety to familiar foods and using favorite dips as a gateway to new tastes can further enhance the positive, inclusive atmosphere at the table. Celebrating each unique palate is the key to creating lasting memories and fostering a sense of togetherness during mealtime.