Back in March, I remember getting the text/email/call from school telling us that the kids would be home for 2 weeks. I grabbed files, notebooks, and my laptop, figuring I had enough work to keep my going during that time. I actually thought it would be nice to have time with my boys at home, bonding and all of that.
Fast forward to now. I’ve learned more about Zoom, Google Classroom, Seesaw, and Microsoft Teams then I ever thought I would. I’ve watched my husband, a nurse, go to work, sometimes to a Covid unit. I have to admit, I’m a little jealous that he actually gets to leave and interact with adults on a regular basis, even if it’s to work a stressful job.
By far, the hardest and most stressful part of staying at home has been how to keep my son with autism engaged, active, and on task with schoolwork. We are very fortunate to have a school that provided his therapies and one on one sessions with his therapists and teachers via Zoom. This happened all through the spring and then summer for ESY. It wasn’t ideal, but it was something. I obviously am not a therapist or teacher, but my days were spent essentially being his one-one aide during these sessions. It was kind of great and kind of exhausting. I was able to see the process and gains that I wouldn’t normally have a chance to see. We were also able to form bonds with staff like we hadn’t before. My weekly check in with his behavior specialist would often turn into talk therapy for me, as she would ask how the household was doing around my son. I actually kind of miss that.
A much heard opinion from my fellow special needs families was that stay at home orders weren’t all too different from what life for us is normally like. Sure, we have our family favorite places (the Carnegie Museum, Phipps Conservatory, our local library), but for the most part, we are homebodies. My son with autism doesn’t have play-dates, he’s not in sports and activities that take up multiple evenings and weekends with practices and games. He does miss swimming for Special Olympics, but that was not an all-consuming activity. When I went grocery shopping before, it was often alone or utilizing curbside (before it was the thing to do), because my son is not always keen to be in big, loud, bright places. Stay at home orders were basically just making the rest of our friends and neighbors do what we’ve been doing all along.
Staying at home when you don’t have the option to go out, is a lot different than staying at home by choice. I didn’t realize how much being in the office was a sanity booster until it was no longer an option. I love my family more than anything, but when you have no outlet, be it work, happy hours, a trip to the mall alone, it’s ok to take a step back and realize that you do need that time to yourself. Self-care has taken on many creative forms – a drive with no real destination, walking the neighborhood, reading a book when the kids go to bed, losing yourself in garbage reality television or a new favorite Netflix binge. All of these things are ok. There’s no right or wrong way (within reason) to ride out a pandemic, because who has?
This was a very longwinded way of saying that we at Autism Connection of PA know that autism doesn’t stop for a pandemic. You and your families have still been going through all of the regular autism stuff, on top of everything else going on in the world. We are still here for you. We are still working to make things better for our community.